Fear
Am I letting my own fears get in the way of something beautiful? I catch myself looking back to the past and shaking my head and fearing that somehow its all going to start all over again and the train will soon be off its tracks again

but how does one step forward if he's always looking back?

I know alot more now then I did before...so many lessons learned the hard way, and a few that I didn't have to in that fasion...alot of advice and alot of teachings and I find myself back here at the crossroads. God is waiting for me to step out once again for I often forget to step in hopes that he will steer me anyway but more often then not it doesn't work that way does it? You step then He guides...

I remember my conversation last night...follow your heart he said, he started talking about how he and his wife first got together...everything was stacked against them...he feared so much, always thought he would let down her children who needed a father...but he knew somehow that it was God's will for them to be together...

and he took that step...
and now they are as happy as any friench couple can be lol...

but whatever happends friendship will always come first :) the one thing I learned this past year that I will never forget...friendship

have I ever told you about the odd reason of why I prefur to be called "Ashby" by friends? I picked this up during the time I had a silly crush on this girl in high school...helped me out alot to think about when she turned me down cause she didn't date and even if she did he would have to be Christian lol...go fig huh? anyway I started to notice how all my friends called me "Ashby" much like they did in the HA and I started to invision my future and as crushes go I pictured my wife as this person from high school but when I invisioned her speak to me...I couldn't picture her call me Chris, all that would come out of her mouth when she would refer to me was "Ashby" and I guess from then on I always held to the thought that my friends will call me "Ashby" and I love it...but one day when all is said and done and I look into my wife's eyes she's going to call me Chris. Something special you know? Something beyond friendship...but it all starts with Ashby first lol....

I don't know why I wanted to share that with y'all but there you have it :)

o, and thank you for taking a small time out of your day to come and find out what I'm up too up here :) you don't know how much joy it brings to my heart to find out that someone else reads this thing :) (it was Krys today) so yeah..comment and just let me know you where here :P

much love from the land where WE BEAT THE USA 2-1 TONIGHT IN THE FIRST GAME OF THE WORLD CUP OF HOCKEY!! (ah yes, its good to be home :) )

- posted by Kai @ 8/31/2004 09:01:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
So...
I think this is the point where life kinda starts to become normal again...people are back to work today after a week...I'm home alone again lol...yesterday was good, the funeral was hard...I finally cried and mom forgot my notes in the car to I had to get up and formulate a prayer...it went alright

Then family came together and did what the Ashby's do best. Other then farming that is :P they all met up at one central location and sat around with beer in hand and talked (and made fun of poor ol Will) and well, me and my Pepsi in hand just sat back and smiled...it was just as it should be.

Then I had the most interesting conversation with my aunt's brother...we had gotten to know eachother throughout the week and he's an awesome guy...lives his life for the lord...his store is God's and is used for ministry...its amazing really..and the man is french like I have never seen before lol.

anyway...during our conversation last night he really spoke about how the Lord made a way for he and his wife to get together...even with everything that was in the way and he said more then once (never once knowing what has been on my heart for a while now) just go with your heart...he was talking about my ministry but...I don't know, I think God was making that a very general statment...just go with your heart...

interesting how prayer gets answered...though family members you never knew you had sometimes lol...

but we continue in prayer and see where this goes...

obviously my focus has been on family for the past week...I have for a while kinda forgot to think about myself which is typical me I think...I'm going to postpone moving to Ottawa for a few days and make sure my help isn't needed around the farm but yeah...

lol, so I was reading Leigh-Anne's Xanga (as opposed to her Blog...) and I saw this picture I forgot all about lol


- posted by Kai @ 8/31/2004 07:43:00 a.m. (0) comments

 
So, I think I should be stressed...
but for some reason..I don't know, I'm still just kinda numb...

Spent the night with Nick, along with Shane, his girlfriend and my brother Ryan...we had a good time, and I really think Nick enjoyed it...I saw my aunt laugh for the first time in days..ah, family is so good...

why is it when people are sad they cook?

so right now my aunt and uncle have more foon then some poor countries in Asia I think...its crazy...and so many people all the time, taking care of every detail...I have never been so proud to call myself an Ashby in my life...I love my family.

So, I have been ask to speak at Matthew's funeral...Uncle John laid out the vision for me today...he knows that what the minister is going to say will be very good...but the man is an older man and the younger people just won't be able to relate so he asked me to speak...to start the healing process for the younger people...*sigh* Lord lead me cause I have no words...I have nothing Lord speak though me...

so yeah...this is going to be a crazy few days...

so yeah...well, in a lighter note I just heard about Sarah-Beth and Chris...I LOVE YOU TWO...so crazy, congrats you two, behave and do this right now! :P

Lord, I have so much to focus on I need You to take this from me and bring me peace o Father...I seek your guidence and thiank You o Lord for the wisdom You have brought to my heart already...even though this time You teach me Father thank You...

When life hands you lemmons...make lemmonaid (supposed to be a strongbad quote..but totaly forgot what the quote was...lol) but yeah...trying to make the best of a crazy life right now...thank you all for your prayers...I love you all and know that your prayers are felt strong

I pick the flowers and smile as I wait for the Lord's responce, even when all around me is dark I will always find that flower blooming and smile, knowing that the Lord sent it for me to find....

much love, from the not so alone man in this world...

- posted by Kai @ 8/27/2004 10:32:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
Matthew Ashby, my younger cousen died last night in Ottawa at the hospital after an accident on the farm...it couldn't be avoided...blah, I really don't know what to think, how too feel I'm just kinda numbed by the whole thing I guess...

we as a family, the Ashby family are close, especially ours and his family...its like losing a brother

why can't I cry?

Pray for us please...pray for his family

he was our yongest...the youngest in the family...


Teenager dies from injuries
By DEREK ABMA
Staff Writer
OTTAWA -- A 17-year-old Prescott-area male died overnight as a result of injuries suffered in a tractor-and-car collision Wednesday morning.
The accident happened at about 8:30 a.m. Matthew Ashby was southbound on a tractor on Blue Church Road near Maynard when he collided with an eastbound Oldsmobile on County Road 26 being driven by Joshua Dufresne, 22, of Prescott.
Ashby was airlifted to the Ottawa Hospital, where he passed away.
The intersection where the accident happened has a stop sign for north-south traffic but not for east-west, meaning the Oldsmobile was not required to stop at the intersection, but the tractor was.
Sergeant Nancy Onlock of the OPP said no charges are pending.
The intersection is surrounded by homes on large rural lots. Many residents watched as police and other personnel investigated and cleared the scene.
One resident, who asked not to be identified, said he heard the crash and looked out his window to see the Oldsmobile stopped and facing east. He did not, however, see the tractor and the car make contact.
The car was severely damaged on its driver's side and front. The tractor was left upside down in front of it.
The scene was cleared and police officers left the scene about two hours after the accident occurred. For most of that time, emergency responders had roadblocks set up at the next concessions on each side of the intersection.
Onlock said credit must be given to workers of Brockville Tractor-Trailer Maintenance, who arrived on the scene before police and fire officials and used their equipment to get the tractor off of Ashby.
"Their help was key, really, until the fire department got there," she said.
Onlock said Dufresne suffered minor injuries.

- posted by Kai @ 8/26/2004 05:18:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
When the Trailer meets the House...

- posted by Kai @ 8/25/2004 07:10:00 a.m. (0) comments

 
We're not in Texas anymore Toto...
So, I was asked the question "what is God teaching you?"

He's teaching me something important...
...that I'm not in Texas anymore

I'm in this thing called life that I dreaded for so long....not bound by the rules of Teen Mania so now, I set my own rules to live by...funny how many of then are the same :P but its not Teen Mania telling me what is right and wrong...God is showing me why I went through my year there now...and how I'm supposed to be different

Its hard...real hard to get away from the mindset of an intern...not that the intern mindset is bad but yes I do plan on getting into a relationship at some point in my life and its hard to force my brain to accept the fact that I can. I was talking to a friend of mine last night and my brain kept tweeking out saying "your going to get dismissed man" then I was like, what the heck? lol...thats not making any sence....but just to ease any people's fears that I'm getting in way over my head too soon, this friend and I are taking some time apart in prayer and council and, lets just see how God plays this one...I much prefur having God in control....takes alot of stress of me lol...

So Toto, welcome to Oz, only my Oz is the real world...lets start down the yellow brick road and see where we end up....

- posted by Kai @ 8/24/2004 12:06:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
Missing...

- posted by Kai @ 8/22/2004 11:01:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
Life
So, this is life right now

Still don't have a job, messed up the online app thing for Future Shop so I'm going to have to go in and talk to them mano a mano next time I can get into Ottawa...that would be an awesome job and I could SO do it :)

But in order to get a job I need to know where I'm going to live...if I get a job close to home and live here thats $300/month at home with family...

speaking of that...I really don't feel as though I'm a part of this family right now...they have thair ways and I'm kinda on the outside looking in I feel like...I wanted to go to the show today but I guess people where too busy and didn't wake me up....

anywho I need to find out what I'm doing without getting all wrapped up in worldlyness of life.....balence is key....hmmmm

- posted by Kai @ 8/22/2004 08:59:00 a.m. (0) comments

 
getting myself in troble again...
I'm always sticking my big ol' size 13 in my mouth I think...interesting, doesn't taist that good...hmm

It really is easyer to communicate over the wires of the world wide web isn't it? So much easer to live free in the world that has no master...in a world where you have no face but the one you give yourself....

but its so much harder to live in reality...where you do not choose who and what you are, where you are stuck within the confines of what God gave you....having to step out of where you are most comfterble and actually interact with living tissue instead of typed words on a screen....

but when do we realize that we're not living in some movie...that no matter what happened in the Matrix or in some anime we're living right now in the real world. This is it, the world....is it hard sometimes to interact in? Yeah But like everything if you never do it it'll never come any easyer...

Final Fantasy XI is a cool game, fustrates me at times because I'm used to things progressing MUCH quicker and yadda yadda yadda but its only ment for casual entertanment. And yes I'm an interesting fellow to be saying this but our lives are not lived with the soal perpose of being entertained but if you don't go out and seek that perpose for yourself...if all we do is sit in front of a screen is a life really worth living? To fule your body then return to a parked position and rev it in nutral until its out of gas again then go, fill it up and park and rev again...meaningless...

as I have said before, I constantly stick my foot in my mouth and do it willingly and you know what...the conversation has arose as to me hurting due to losing friends....and yes, I hurt...it hurts alot but I know that I have stayed quiet on alot of things for too long and if I didn't love people I would just continue being quiet....Bev this post was obviously for you I'm not going to hide the fact but I want you to know that I say all this because I love you as a sister and care for you as a friend and don't want to see you waisting away your days when there is so much out there other then whats in here...I lose friends mostly because I love them too much. I'm just....so hurt on the inside when I see my friends not spreading there wings even a little when those wings are so dang beautiful they just don't know it yet....

I think I'm going to bed...

much love from the man with the size 13 wedged into his face

- posted by Kai @ 8/21/2004 09:06:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
doing nothing....whereever I go
fustration stirrs up inside of me...I feel like the Warrior stuck teaching first grade...I need out, I need onto the field I need to do something! I got home and remembered the...nothingness the turned into backsliding...I came to James' place to see that I can't escape waisted lives...

I'm going to be very frank....get over it

back home I sit and stare at a screen for hours of the day, not really because I want to but because there is nothing out to do so I try to get away so I don't rot away and my family becomes angered that I don't want to spend time with them even though they are never home...not thair falt, they work and they provide for us praise the Lord that...but me sitting at home would drive me nuts so I come here to James' house

wow is about all I have to say...

So, I have decided to no longer play Final Fantasy XI...I don't want to ever see myself waking up in the mourning...playing that game...going to work, getting home and playing till all hours of the night...saddens my heart...

I spent some time alone with God, I just kinda took a walk last night while everyone else was emursed in the game...filled me with some peace and God reminded me that I used to be much like that...what right would I have to tell them different...but He's working though this...somehow He is

its like a bad movie that I want out of...I love my friends here they amaze me more then often...Chuck and I took out the kindo sticks and beat on eachother for a while, I miss that...it was fun...

I miss Texas though...alot. I'll quote a certain CA of the NRA here..."I love Teen Mania Girls" lol....I've become very used to the high level true lady lol I have become very used to alot of things...Hasz was right when he said we would feel alone, thanks for all your prayers guys...I miss you all more then you may know...email me please...let me know how you are doing

keep praying that I would be...different

much love from Canada....say hi to home for me

- posted by Kai @ 8/19/2004 09:13:00 a.m. (0) comments

 
Home Again
well, not quite...interesting thing, so my flights where all late and my folks had no idea when I was coming in so they headed home just before 1am (o ye of little faith :P) about the same time as I arrived...SOOO I quickly realized that my ride would not be showing up so I called my best friend James who just happened to be within the 25 cents I had in my pocket for a phone call YEY! So he picked me up and I stayed here last night...can't wait to get home but sometimes this really is home for me...

so, I caught myself, as I was looking over some blogs while everyone else is still asleep, wanting to not show everyone who doubted me, everyone who said something who whatever...just to show them that I'm still the same ole' Chris and that there was nothing for them to fear...I guess its hard for me to see the change in myself...but its there and I'm not the same anymore OU! CHUCK IS HOME! lol, sorry just remembered about that, I HAVE to hook up with him.....eew, I think I stink...haven't showered since...yuk like graduation day lol SICK DOG! Bet you really didn't want to know that right? So this is it....wow, I really am home guys, I really made it...I really got through the last year and graduated..I really did it...a part of me I think is still stuck in Garden Valley...crying because I left him behind all alone but another part of me just feels....Strangely at peace, ever since I walked across that stage I have felt so...at peace its weird...I really don't understand it and that's probably a good thing lol...

o, and one last thing...

you are all going to hate me I'm sure...at least my friends from the HA...

the first thing I did when I got here was....watch an "R" Rated movie...

NOW...before you start yelling "EVIL WICKED SINNER" at your computer screen and tearing your clothing in anguish and whatnot this was the one movie I has planned since it came out to be the first movie I watch when I get out and it was awesome and you all should watch it too...if you don't mind some over excessive violence at times. It was of course, The Last Samurai :)

well, much love from the far north my friends...I will see yall later.

- posted by Kai @ 8/16/2004 05:56:00 a.m. (0) comments

 
One year over...

As the tears fall, the hugs grow tighter and the handshakes linger...it finally hits me that this is it...its over... I will miss you all.There are many emotions, few words...all words have already been spoken...you are my friends my family.The Line...The Ring
So, whats the future hold? Japan GE Trip, I'm so excited. and, more importantly...I'm a Core AdvisorIn January...Passion...I can't wait. but for now, I go home...even more excited... really...I can't wait to go homeI'm comming guys...tomorrow well, I gotta go...love you all
- posted by Kai @ 8/14/2004 01:35:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
A Cry
There are so many gods in this world. So many things to believe in, where do we go? Who do we go to? Ourselves? gods, godesses? Who?

There are so many choices...

Is there not one?

One I can go to, one who can comfort me? One who can love me? Lay thair life down for me, be with me? Teach me, care for me? Provide for me? Who will make sure the sun rises for me tomorrow so I don't grow cold...

Who will love me? I do wish to love, I wish to give my all to something but to what? I want to be motivated to love, to serve...

Is there nobody who would love me?

Many would ask for my life, but who would love me back?

Many gods would demand my respect but are they even real? I don't see them nor feel them and this longing is still there...

I'm growing faint...

men heart me, gods leave me...all abandon me

WHAT IS THE POINT?!?

Though, I have heard of one but his followers weaver...

This one so called "Christ" I wonder just for a moment who he is...

The stories say he is...God, odd...

The stories say that he was man...I'm so lost...

That say that he spoke with authority, as if he was truly the son of God. Even those who don't follow him say that he was a great profit

but...

is there more?

Thay say that he died...on a roman cross

he was hung by nails through his hands and feet, or so they say...

the stories say that he...died even when he could have gotten away...why?

I don't understand...

if he was God then why die?

Some say that it was because he loves us, they say he died so we would be...

forgiven...

No god would do that for us...

but they say that he did...this Jesus did...

Can I be loved like that? I want so much to be loved like that but how...

how can I chose this Jesus over everything else in this world?

How can I believe that an all powerful God would love me like that?

They say, that he is the only one...

they say that he created us and...

wants to be with us...

Why?

how can this be so?

This, Jesus, he loves us...loves me? Enough to die for Me?

a God who would do that for me?

I want to be loved like that...

if he is real...what if he is real...

I would love him if he truly loved me like that...

...Jesus...

I want you to be real

I NEED TO BE LOVED LIKE THAT!!

but...I'm afriad I'll be left empty

like every other time, every other belief I had...

I was left with the same hole...

the same longing deep inside...

They are not real...

I wan't you to be real

I can't make you up...

Jesus...

if you are who they say you are...will you love me like that?

If you are real will you be there for me?

can I be fulfilled?

because I wan't to make my life count for something and...

if you really love my like that...

I wan't to love you back

I wan't to worship you, praise even your name...if you truly are who they say you are

They say it takes faith...

can you also give me that?

if you are God then yes...

Jesus give me that faith...let me believe!

be...my LORD

my God

be my everything for I long to be loved...

and I long to love...

...

I give my life up to you

as you did for me...

its not much but its yours

please use it...

thank you

for being loving...

for being...God

for being...there

to listen to my sorrows

I love you

I praise you

I am...Yours.

- posted by Kai @ 8/12/2004 04:14:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
Thoughts of the Love filled Heart

So, I was looking at this latest writing from Rob's Blog and I smiled...I've never seen him like this. Its just so darn cute! :P Then it got me thinking though...

Girls aren't supposed to fill that void...We're supposed to have this passion, this internal fire inside for God before all else. You don't find it in something, God shows it to you, gives it to you...the Holy Spirit filles you and there is nothing else you can do but worship your Creator. You wark hard as to worship your God. For your relationship with Jesus to come before all else...He loves you and wants to be with you.

I'm not saying that a relationship with the one you love shouldn't be important to you but where are your priorities...

so often, especially so-called Christians, people claim to love God and yet once something that seems so amazing down here comes by..something like the emotion and all the feelings that come with a guy/girl relationship take hold and often God is ignored....how terrable a day when some girl...whomever she is take more of or time and more of our thought-life and more of our energy or whatever then your creator...the one who made you

The one who came down, made Himself flesh and died so that He could have relationship with you...

your girlfriend never did that for you...

What the heck?! Why can't Christians be Christians! For the love of all things good! And people rag on ME for breaking up with Lynda after she became my world...MY LORD AND SAVIOUR IS MY WORLD! And my partner on this earth is my companion. Thats the way its suppoed to be. I hurt so many people yeah...but I hurt God more by making Him second to the others in my life...the one who gave it all to see my sins covered....

what in the world?

Thank about that...comment what you wish, but really...just think about it first...

- posted by Kai @ 8/11/2004 07:47:00 a.m. (0) comments

 
Quotes from Kristy's Journal
I share the same memories....I miss those days alot...

"LAN "Parties": Age of Empires II: The Conquerors. Massive fucking armies of ELEPHANTS. (James: "And mamalukes! I remember the mamaluke armies!" Bev: "I had the mamalukes! The camels!"). Making WAR CARTS just to mock the Koreans. Attempting to play Age of Mythology, but never really sticking with it like we did AoE... oh, and the rare Baldur's Gate game."
lol, and my amazing walls! :P

"Trying on rare occasion to make DnD characters that they NEVER did anything with. Well, pretty much."
lol, I made SOO many! Played like once...o, and the Star Wars RPG lol...I remember that, I always just wanted to kill people with my light sabor...and did! Wahaha!

"Movies. Army of Darkness, Spaceballs, etc... Watching anime together, too. Gunsmith Cats comes to mind. Oh, and Inu Yasha, and Happy Lesson. Downloading said anime on a dial-up connection..."
I remember sitting up with James watching Lain...that first tape was so hard to get through...don't know how we ended up watching the rest lol. And Love Hina :P

"The CHUCKY DOLL: I went to James's house in Spencerville one day to find that him and "the gang" had been kicking around an old doll (about a foot or two in length) that they found, insisting that it reminded them of "Chucky" and scared them to death, and that's why they kicked it around like a soccer ball. Eventually it's head split open.... so we sewed it back together with bailing twine. :P Then I think they kicked it some more... Heh, just a minute ago I ran downstairs to laugh with James and Bev about it... Bev looks up with this huge, proud, cheery grin on her face... "And then later we burned it!"Me "What?! I missed that!"Bev *proud*: "I put firecrackers in it's head!" "
I was there for the sacrificial burning of the demon Chucky doll...after we set the record of how many people we could stuff into Karens car to get to Chuck's place to despose of the evil beast....so much fun

Playing board games, like Risk, Axis and Allies, and of course, Tenjou... Beverly holding us up on the phone... me snapping pictures of the board... me whoring my "wife" to James for 10,000 koku, or however much it was. XD Oh, and we can't forget the Lord of the Rings risk... and how I'd always get a kick ass start, only to fall behind and get obliterated by later in the game. Man, I sucked... :P
I was SOOO bad at Risk back then lol and A&A, I'm still bad at that lol. Tenjou is really fun guys!

Camping in Quebec. Oh, man, camping in Quebec. Boat wars... with BORROWED boats (what the heck were those guys thinking?!), washing my hair in the river, horrible spiders in the outhouse, sleeping in the car (don't remember WHY I did that, but likely hoping it was warmer than in the tent) , chaotically pitching tents after dark, Karen's car... Karen's CAR... struggling up hills... dying battery... driving around with - somehow - more luggage at the end than we began with, bottoming out at times... riding with a huge garbage bag - full of GARBAGE, of course - on my lap while trying to find an appropriate place to dump it. Attempting fireworks and failing miserably. Being very very cold with not enough blankets at night. (It was only the end of April, at most....) Actually finding a use for James's machete.
Wow, I remember back in the day...like that trip and the trip to Chuck's dad's island, I was so obsessive over this one girl its rather amusing to think back to that.

Wednesday night wings at the hotel and the lively conversation that usually accompanied it, with occasional torture from karaoke in the next room.
WING NIGHT!! lol, I remember the lines of salt for the sniffing (never actually did fyi) and sweating under the heat of the 911 wings, making fun of Bev and her BBQ wings lol....she can't take the heat :P

Driving all the way to Ottawa just so we could see a new movie. Oh, and shopping. EB rocks.
Driving all the way to Ottawa because Brockville shut its movie place down. Grr...ah well, Ottawa rocks!

Well, peace out! Much love.
(Last day of K-Crew...wow)

- posted by Kai @ 8/09/2004 02:36:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
This is what its about...





- posted by Kai @ 8/08/2004 06:28:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
Mexico ends, Internship ending...emotional Ashby
I want to tell you all of the amazing wonderful things that God did on my trip to Mexico, and truly He did. over 17,000 salvations on Z trip alone, not counting X and Y and the month long A, B, and C trips....just that alone, and the thousands of healings and wow....and the first Mexican ATF called "ExMax" and soo much...

but...

all I can seem to think about is that day, the day that seems to be comming in like a fraight trian while I'm on the tracks staring it down like a deer trapped in the headlights. Its going to hit me...its going to hurt..and right now much like the deer there isn't anything I can do...I'm frozen and I can't even move and I might as well just let it hit me...

I want to go home, so much of me can smell mom's home cooking and can hear Kid's whining and dad's singing and Ryan's loud music and I miss it all...I miss it alot. That same part of me misses time with friends...go read Kristy's last post, the one on memories and I was there in all but one of them...I remember and miss those times as well, I miss lan parties and staying up all night going ABSOLUTLY NOTHING if you really think about it. I miss being about to just get away from home for a few weeks at a time sometimes until the guilt or the folks calling very angry made me come back home, I miss the feeling after comming home realising that I should be with my family...loving them. I miss church, I miss BOYB I miss Pam and Donald I miss Cathy and Cathy, I miss that feeling like I need to punch Karen in the face, or slap Dane REALLY REALLY hard because they where once awesome friends and they still can be if they...if all of us take the focus off ourselves...I miss wing nights, I miss Chris, I miss the times we would just hang out, I miss our friendship to be honest. I'm sad that he's angry at God...I saw the pain in his eyes while I was talking about my faith to his girlfriend...

but I don't miis myself back then...

I don't miss the lonlyness I felt so often, I don't miss my backsliding, I don't miis my weak faith and my ways around the "rules" I don't miss my lieing to get out of troble, I don't miss my "romantic" relationships...

I'm going to miss the HA. I'm going to miss the countless night sitting in upstairs Elliot just talking about God with other men of God, I'm going to miss Weekend Risk that ended up turning into weekend Settelers somehow...I'm going to miss the teachings, Dave Hasz, Ron Luce, I'm going to miss church, CCF, going to miss Dave Hicky and his "in your face" preaching...going to miss worship, I'm goin gto miss Selfless...those men are amazing I love them all. I'm going to miss Trailer Club with Mr. Heath Stoner and I'm going to miss this beautiful campus...the only nice place in Texas! I'm goin gto miss late night talks with Denver...diving deep...I'm going to miss the actual deep conversations, the deep friendships...I'm going to miss the accountability. I'm goin gto miss the push to grow...people always challenging me to push forward and never looking back. The push to be something more then I ever thought I could be. I'm going to miss Friends who stick by you all the way from praying for you before your trip to meeting you after (Liegh-Anne, thanks...you an amazing friend and you did more for me then I ever did for you....thanks for being my sister)

I'm going to miss my friends here.

I already miss my homies from Mexico, I miss my team. I LOVE YOU GUYS! Denzel, Ben, Doty...my MAG, you are the Army of One! I love you guys! Keep it up! July, you kept the energy alive even when we didn't want to be energetic...WHO ARE WE?? WANAHOCKALOOGY! Al, my favorite American/Mexican friend, thanks for translating for me with the guy in the black shirt...he got it :) Thanks for being and friend.

I'm going to miss my sister cores....I love them all so much, admitidly some of them maybe too much :P lol you all rock and you have each touched my heart...feep fighting the good fight ladies...every Trailer Man can't be that without a Alpha woman to back him up.

We're all going out, with a mission. To take over the world...And we'll do it.

All of you, everyone...from all my friends back home too all my friends here in Texas from the K-Crew to Selfless to all of Lamad-Ohana, from the "Group" back home (remember that all so original name? lol) to my most awesome family and everyone inbetween...

I love you all.

and whether I'm comming or going, whether we are going our own ways or I'm comming back your way...I'll see you again don't you worry. And I love you.

- posted by Kai @ 8/08/2004 03:18:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
Back!
Heyhey! Thats right all, I'm back on campus!!

God did so much I can't even begin to discribe to you....just...wow

people pray for Mexico, the Lord is working something amazing there...these people are hungry for more...

and yes, I love Mexicans! they rock! Like really, they are so....awesome! Well, more to come about the trip..peace for now.

- posted by Kai @ 8/06/2004 07:37:00 p.m. (0) comments