Name: Christopher Ashby Handle: Xan EMail: christopher.ashby @gmail.com Birthdate: October 28, 1983 Height: 6'3" Home: Ontario, Canada Location: Home Album of the Moment: |
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Final Fantasy XI: Status
Name: Xan
Race/Sex: Hume/Male
Nationality: Bastok
Rank: 6
Server: Titan
Current job: RDM/BLM
Main job: RDM/BLM
Linkshell: Asendance
Highest lvl: 60(RDM)
Mule: Nemar
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Thursday, August 12, 2004
A Cry
There are so many gods in this world. So many things to believe in, where do we go? Who do we go to? Ourselves? gods, godesses? Who?
There are so many choices...
Is there not one?
One I can go to, one who can comfort me? One who can love me? Lay thair life down for me, be with me? Teach me, care for me? Provide for me? Who will make sure the sun rises for me tomorrow so I don't grow cold...
Who will love me? I do wish to love, I wish to give my all to something but to what? I want to be motivated to love, to serve...
Is there nobody who would love me?
Many would ask for my life, but who would love me back?
Many gods would demand my respect but are they even real? I don't see them nor feel them and this longing is still there...
I'm growing faint...
men heart me, gods leave me...all abandon me
WHAT IS THE POINT?!?
Though, I have heard of one but his followers weaver...
This one so called "Christ" I wonder just for a moment who he is...
The stories say he is...God, odd...
The stories say that he was man...I'm so lost...
That say that he spoke with authority, as if he was truly the son of God. Even those who don't follow him say that he was a great profit
but...
is there more?
Thay say that he died...on a roman cross
he was hung by nails through his hands and feet, or so they say...
the stories say that he...died even when he could have gotten away...why?
I don't understand...
if he was God then why die?
Some say that it was because he loves us, they say he died so we would be...
forgiven...
No god would do that for us...
but they say that he did...this Jesus did...
Can I be loved like that? I want so much to be loved like that but how...
how can I chose this Jesus over everything else in this world?
How can I believe that an all powerful God would love me like that?
They say, that he is the only one...
they say that he created us and...
wants to be with us...
Why?
how can this be so?
This, Jesus, he loves us...loves me? Enough to die for Me?
a God who would do that for me?
I want to be loved like that...
if he is real...what if he is real...
I would love him if he truly loved me like that...
...Jesus...
I want you to be real
I NEED TO BE LOVED LIKE THAT!!
but...I'm afriad I'll be left empty
like every other time, every other belief I had...
I was left with the same hole...
the same longing deep inside...
They are not real...
I wan't you to be real
I can't make you up...
Jesus...
if you are who they say you are...will you love me like that?
If you are real will you be there for me?
can I be fulfilled?
because I wan't to make my life count for something and...
if you really love my like that...
I wan't to love you back
I wan't to worship you, praise even your name...if you truly are who they say you are
They say it takes faith...
can you also give me that?
if you are God then yes...
Jesus give me that faith...let me believe!
be...my LORD
my God
be my everything for I long to be loved...
and I long to love...
...
I give my life up to you
as you did for me...
its not much but its yours
please use it...
thank you
for being loving...
for being...God
for being...there
to listen to my sorrows
I love you
I praise you
I am...Yours.
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