Amusment
so, as many of you (hopefull thinking that there are many readers :P lol) might have read...Cheska is a wee bit upset. I have no idea whats up and since she deleted the post on her own board well...I have no idea...it wasn't me and it wasn't Leigh-Anne nor was it my sista....sooo what was this mystery message and who did it? lol, ah well...nothing really too important just wondering.

O, and YOUR GONNA CALL MY MOM!?! WHAT THE HECK??

don't worry Ches, she reads this and I can asure you she is less then careing about who writes what on your blog...*blink*

anywho, back to the real focus of these holidays :P I hope all is well and that your getten together with loved ones and all that...remember that this is about Christ comming into this world...REMEMBER? lol, well...so this Christmas has a little more to it *grin* I'm as happy as a fat boy with a tub of icecream. I'm a very marry fat boy indeed....um...wait, I'm not fat :P lol

so, lets here from Cheska's attacker cause I wanna figure this this out for pure amusment and to calm her down...she stresses too much...it'll kill her and I don't want that. :P what? I really don't! Stop looking at me like that! o_O

Have a VARY merry Christmas boyz and girlz! LuV Ya!

- posted by Kai @ 12/23/2004 02:39:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
We'll count the dead and hopeless for every word unspoken
I really don't know what to say right now. I mean, wow is a word that sums up alot of it lol...

I'm sitting here as I type with Leigh-Anne sitting next to me and well, things couldn't be better...I'm so happy lol. Speachless.

One thing is for sure...lol, this is going to be a short post :P cause well...I have no idea what to type.

I do have one thing to say though.

We Know.

Together forever....I can't wait.

- posted by Kai @ 12/20/2004 04:40:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
before we tair this open...
I was just looking at good ol' Erik's Xanga and saw the wonderful picture of the January graduating class and a tear formed in my eye, words have little meaning sometimes, and more often the fail to discribe how one really feals....though in reality there is no lack of words in the English language they seem to fail me...

I miss them all...

I tried to call Elliot hall the other night, did they change the numbers or do I really forget them?

why does it hurt so bad to look back at that time in my life? well, I guess it was mostly because people where uplifting and encouraging there...I had friends and they where Christian, now today as I sit here I often wonder where all my Christian friends have gone. I have noticed how curcing and swearing are a commen theme in this house...what can one do but be different, to live the difference as it where...to set the bar a little higher.

Setting the bar...

though I don't feel as though there is anything happening at home, and I say this without pride but thanks to God, but I think the bar has been lifted at my work...people are starting to notice how a person of Honor is supposed to work and starting to wonder why other people arn't more like that....Live the difference. I find it very alone here on my little island called home, Leigh-Anne this will be an adventure for sure :P I guess its the same all over, I miss Texas...I miss Teen Mania, I guess because it was my own little utopia, where the friends that I had lived in the spirit of the Lord...where I came to work...

To be the one, to put a smile in the faces of others.

well, at least I still get to do that.

I was thinking the other day about K-Crew...go fig :P, and I remember being told, and telling many others "We have the oppertunity like no other ministry placment too see everyone else in the ministry...the oppertunity to brighten there day even with just a smile." and started asking myself "why can't I take that into what I do now?" Well, after further inspection into the scenario I found out that me in my natural state was already doing that so w00t :) lol, the Love of Jesus is so interesting isn't it? when the people see it there are two reactions I have found in the wide world of here. eather they see the love of Jesus and there heart is warmed in his embrace and its a very plesent thing, or...and I see this happen more then option (a) is that the person grows cold, they resist it, become crude and or mean...But, contrary to popular belief one does not fight fire with fire, nor hardend hart to hardend hard, but love conqures all my friends...hot coals on thine enemys head...remember that? there are times I would like to let my flesh have its way with some people but anger leads to hatred and well..we all know that leads to the dark side right? Yoda knew what he was talking about...pretty good for Grover's great-Grandfather. we will always fear what we do not understand....and so often when there is a lack of wisdom instinct takes over and thus usualy being motivated by the fleshly desires...like what Ron Luce was talking about when he asked the question "are you asleep?" spiritualy asleep are we letting our minds and our bodys do whatever...set us on cruse control and sit back and relax, or do we have control? Do we REALLY have control? When the 48th costemer comes up and swears to you that the sign said it was such and such a price...smile and nod, and let the spirit of the Lord move and flow through you.

I'm not anything special...praise God I'm nothing at all. I'm not a hard worker nor and honorable person in any respect...I am not a good friend nor a good brother, I am nothing...but what the Lord has allowed me to be. Its far to easy to forget...

so, ack..lol, I started this post to say one thing and I haven't yet.

To all those of my friends whome are graduating very soon...I want you to know how amazingly proud of you I am and that now is when you live what you learned. You haven't had much chance to truly but into affect much that you have learned...now you go out into a death scared world...make that difference whereever you end up, where ever the Lord places you you have purpose.

though you don't hear much from me, I still think about you all in the highest esteam and you are all in my thoughts and my prayers.

(Congradulations!)
(Config)ulations

(Teleport-Texas)(Can I have it?)

- posted by Kai @ 12/14/2004 09:50:00 a.m. (0) comments

 
before you break your silence...
something hit me this mourning that I never expected...my heart and my head and everything else just kinda collided soon before I headed off to work and I know that, somehow this is right.

I guess it kinda started last time I talked to mom...she asked my if I thought Leigh-Anne was the one. How does a man really answer that? I mean, I said yes once before when mom asked me that same question about Lexi...so somehow this couldn't be the same as that somehow there had to be more that puzzle peice that eluded me for so long, what was it?

but in reality it really has been staring me in the face for so long...

I remember watching with some amusment at some of Denver's antics in the room...he worked so hard and one day he told us why he did the things he did "I do it for my wife" he said...I have had alot more respect for the guy since that moment...this man pushes himself so hard always, he works for God, and remembers his future wife in everything he does...almost to the point of obsession, its truly amazing, the mark of a real Trailer Man...

Denver Root is a true Trailer Man

I wish I had as much dedication as he...but I did learn to keep my wife, my futre wife in mind when doing the things I do in life. You'd be surprised how it tends to change you...you take better care of yourself not because you generly care more for your health but you don't want your wife to merry some fatty fatfat who has a hard time walking across the street without losing his breath...you start to think more about the years you will be with your wife, how you want it to be a long time...it affects everything you do really. And just as solders all over the world keep a picture of loved ones with them on the battle field you find yourself keeping that silluetted picture of a mystry woman close by your side as you wage your war against the hords of hell. You don't even know her yet but she is a part of your life, you pray for her and interceed for the nameless bride to be...

what is so different about Leigh-Anne...

In the past, I ran from the battle grounds to find love, turned my back on what I believed in hopes to find romance and love in the things of this earth...I was told to stop the fight and lay down my sword...but not so now, thats why this isn't the same, why this right now, this thing between myself and this woman is so much more so much, better. Instead of turning my back on the battle I run head first into it, cutting down one by one the demons that try to tair at this relationship, that try to tair at myself and her, and the world around us...and though we are far apart I feel her with me as I walk into battle, she's got my back and though this path is much harder as we have come to see we are pushing forward...watching as our visions collide and dreams slowly become reality in a way that God himself could have only put together...a perfect plan.

if I turn, she is there to turn me back, if she stumbles I am there for her...we both relying on the Lord for our everything...together hand in hand we face the challenges pitted against us with courage and strength...

is she the bride of my hopes and dreams, only God's time can tell...whether in frendship or kinship...this is something so special.

I love you Leigh-Anne.

- posted by Kai @ 12/11/2004 02:51:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
before you break your silence...

- posted by Kai @ 12/11/2004 02:51:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
The wish list, Alcoholism and renewed respect
Hola! So, um..yeah, its been awhile huh? I'm sorry...many hours of work snuck up on me...like this one.

The Overnight Shift: 9:30PM till 8:30AM ... two people stuck in the store all night putting up talkers and changing ends....AHH!!!

and yeah, plus the regular shifts...but work wasn't in the post's title so....forget I mentioned it lol


so yeah, here is a link peeps should look at, you'll need realplayer to view it but, its sort of a "I told ya so" from me to drinkers lol...
http://www.cbc.ca/consumers/market/files/health/beer/beer20041205.ram

but in reality it goes much deeper then that, I remember the talks about alcoholism at the HA and how split we where as a whole about the whole thing, which of course is fine, but at the same time alot that was said about some alcohol actualy being good for you could all perhaps be a lie constructed by the very people trying to sell you a pruduct...wouldn't that turn around a few of those conversations? I think it might.

One of those days I'm soglad I don't drink lol...I'm still sittin at 0% canser risk as to my knowlage lol... non-smoker, don't own a cell phone, don't drink, um....well, there are too many things that give you canser these days but I think I'm away from the major ones :)

o, and smoking is just sick...I know thats kinda random but wow...I was talking to a co-worker the other day and we where discussing our mutual dislike of drinking and smoking...turns out there are other people in the world that agree that stuffing your body full of poisen might in fact kill you some day...

nice to know I'm not alone sometimes :P

I have gotten into thinking more about my brother as of late, I hope he is doing well...it is a well known fact that I share my father's pure dislike of smoking...potentially for the same reasons...would have been nice to meet my grandmother at a time where I could have remembered her...then I sit here and think of my brother who, smokes quite a bit...and my mother of whom I love so much, she's like an amazing friend to me as well as a wicked cool mother figure :P I just don't wanna see anything bad happen that could have been avoided is all...maybe I worry too much too. Little does my family know just how much I think about them and love them dearly///I don't express it vocaly much, probably cause in some ways I'm way too much like my father...I hide things inside far too much and they only comeout in a pinnical of emotion that, often times is as random as my personality is.

The same was true with Leigh-Anne, remember that hun? Took me a long time to get out the fact that I liked you lol...I wonder if it was the same deal with my mom and dad...

more and more these days I seem to be at a cross roads of trying no to impose my point of view onto others vs. alowing them to see the harm they are causing themselves...I so often findmyself wishing only to say something then waving it off as to not offend them. Then I remember one of my many rants of times gone by where I would seemingly shout from the rooftop "LET ALL BE OFFENDED" cause I didn't care if I offended people as long as I got the message out...and I remember yet another rant that left these very fingers some time ago explaining that even Jesus Himself offended many people, thus having his life endangered often...and in the end having that offence lead him to the cross where our salvation would be secured...

perhaps I fear my own cross...perhaps I come to the point where Jesus says "Take up your cross and follow Me" and I look at the large cross and already I feel the weight of it before I even take it upon my sholder...I cringe at the thought of the pain that it would most surtainly inflict onto this body. I remember a time, while I laid to rest on the wet muddy grass of a football field, almost to afraid to shut my eyes saying to myself "I will beat my body and make it my slave" and I come now to the realization that indeed it has come to pass that I have not enslaved my body, but have let the fear and the anxiety of this flesh to take control of me.

I will continue this thought in privite with God, seeking His wisdom and Guedence...

So, it would seem that I have found a renewed respect for the American president George W. Bush. His visit to Ottawa was as expected, protesters....loudness all over and discussions with the Prime-Minister that lead into expected "unexpected" missle defence talks that, as of right now we Canadians still have no idea what that would intail. My new found respect came when I listened to the speach made my the US preident in Halifax at peir 21...shuffling though his rather corney and often rediculas attempts at Canadian humor was a gratitude for Canada's help during 9/11 maybe not with his words per-say, more maybe with the invitation of eastern family's that housed US family's that where stranded in Canada ( O NO!) for days at a time. But, I think what hit me the most was his willingness to talk about and at very least mention the issues that where important to us as Canadians, as well as standing strong and firm on his beliefs without impeding them onto a nation that...frankly would rather see Bush strung up then see him in office again. I just hope that his visit (as short as it was) somehow started the mending of our broken ties. Our two nations rely on eachother (o....which reminds me, I was watching the news and they decided to show us how American news channals where reporting the same thing...and they cut to one [Fox News] and well, I had never been so politicly angry ever...it was a discussion with a well known former Canadian MP discussing her views on Canadian/US relations....the reporter is rather overzealos in my humble opinion and just as the MP states that Canada and the US rely on eachother as trade partners the reporter states that the USA is the superpower of the world and that don't have any need for Canada at all so shouldn't Canada just give in to whatever the USA wants? ....you can see how....upset I became at this comment. grr)

anyway, this is it boys and girls, after much thought and delay its time for

*musical number*

THE THUPER ATHOME CHRISTMAS THUPER WITH LITHT!...um, I mean Wish List :)

again, I hate making these so meh :P and there is no order to the random numbering and...yeah so whatever here we go :)

#1

Final Fantasy XI: Chains of Promathia PC

#2

Shoes...*blink* yeah, I need new shoes bad :P

#3
and Gloves...yeah, that walk to work is gettin cold :P

hmm, grr...time to get ready for work..must leave...much love all, peace to ya homies

- posted by Kai @ 12/06/2004 11:09:00 a.m. (0) comments