before we tair this open...
I was just looking at good ol' Erik's Xanga and saw the wonderful picture of the January graduating class and a tear formed in my eye, words have little meaning sometimes, and more often the fail to discribe how one really feals....though in reality there is no lack of words in the English language they seem to fail me...

I miss them all...

I tried to call Elliot hall the other night, did they change the numbers or do I really forget them?

why does it hurt so bad to look back at that time in my life? well, I guess it was mostly because people where uplifting and encouraging there...I had friends and they where Christian, now today as I sit here I often wonder where all my Christian friends have gone. I have noticed how curcing and swearing are a commen theme in this house...what can one do but be different, to live the difference as it where...to set the bar a little higher.

Setting the bar...

though I don't feel as though there is anything happening at home, and I say this without pride but thanks to God, but I think the bar has been lifted at my work...people are starting to notice how a person of Honor is supposed to work and starting to wonder why other people arn't more like that....Live the difference. I find it very alone here on my little island called home, Leigh-Anne this will be an adventure for sure :P I guess its the same all over, I miss Texas...I miss Teen Mania, I guess because it was my own little utopia, where the friends that I had lived in the spirit of the Lord...where I came to work...

To be the one, to put a smile in the faces of others.

well, at least I still get to do that.

I was thinking the other day about K-Crew...go fig :P, and I remember being told, and telling many others "We have the oppertunity like no other ministry placment too see everyone else in the ministry...the oppertunity to brighten there day even with just a smile." and started asking myself "why can't I take that into what I do now?" Well, after further inspection into the scenario I found out that me in my natural state was already doing that so w00t :) lol, the Love of Jesus is so interesting isn't it? when the people see it there are two reactions I have found in the wide world of here. eather they see the love of Jesus and there heart is warmed in his embrace and its a very plesent thing, or...and I see this happen more then option (a) is that the person grows cold, they resist it, become crude and or mean...But, contrary to popular belief one does not fight fire with fire, nor hardend hart to hardend hard, but love conqures all my friends...hot coals on thine enemys head...remember that? there are times I would like to let my flesh have its way with some people but anger leads to hatred and well..we all know that leads to the dark side right? Yoda knew what he was talking about...pretty good for Grover's great-Grandfather. we will always fear what we do not understand....and so often when there is a lack of wisdom instinct takes over and thus usualy being motivated by the fleshly desires...like what Ron Luce was talking about when he asked the question "are you asleep?" spiritualy asleep are we letting our minds and our bodys do whatever...set us on cruse control and sit back and relax, or do we have control? Do we REALLY have control? When the 48th costemer comes up and swears to you that the sign said it was such and such a price...smile and nod, and let the spirit of the Lord move and flow through you.

I'm not anything special...praise God I'm nothing at all. I'm not a hard worker nor and honorable person in any respect...I am not a good friend nor a good brother, I am nothing...but what the Lord has allowed me to be. Its far to easy to forget...

so, ack..lol, I started this post to say one thing and I haven't yet.

To all those of my friends whome are graduating very soon...I want you to know how amazingly proud of you I am and that now is when you live what you learned. You haven't had much chance to truly but into affect much that you have learned...now you go out into a death scared world...make that difference whereever you end up, where ever the Lord places you you have purpose.

though you don't hear much from me, I still think about you all in the highest esteam and you are all in my thoughts and my prayers.

(Congradulations!)
(Config)ulations

(Teleport-Texas)(Can I have it?)

- posted by Kai @ 12/14/2004 09:50:00 a.m.