The Fellowship of the Ring:

I know, its cheezy...but think of it, every person who owns the ring, every one who has it on his or her hand has taken the same vow. They have sworn to honour.
I think some people on monday really didn't get it...
The line...vision, disiplen, wisdom, leadership...

we swore to a lifetime of honour monday night, promised that with God's strangth we'll strive to be more like Him and that we'll reach peoples lives not by our words but by our actions as honourable men and women.

The ring is only the reminder of the promise made, and a reminder of all that came before who live the promise everyday.

What one man can do, another man can do.

,The Ashby
- posted by Kai @ 10/22/2003 03:51:00 a.m. (0) comments

 
ESOAL: Part one.

Ok, I'm going to try to get down everything that happened during ESOAL before I rang out from my point of view, keep in mind that ESOAL is really just a merging of images of mud and sleepiness so yeah.

First Night: Friday starting - 10:30PM (the last time till the end I would know what time it was.

well, we have had our ESOAL groups for a few weeks, during which time I had gotten a chance to get to know them and whatnot so before we had to meet in the football field we met as a group and made sure everyone was ok and we prayed and stuff then we split and all met at the football field. The beginning was at hand.

we lined up behind the cone with our team number, not really knowing at all what to expect...Mr. Hasz gets up and explains the orders "at attention" and "at ease" and things are doing good so far...then after a few minutes of the "Command master chief" (Mr. Hasz himself) handing out instructions he shocks us with "ok, now your going to meet your real ESOAL team" I was like "say what now?!" cause I was loving my group and we had gotten to know each other well and everything so yeah, we are given little time to find our personal ID number and new team name...from this time forward none of us had names, I was known all weekend as 255 (said two five five) so there are like smoke bombs set off and torches lit and we had to find our new group through all the confusion, that was crazy...meanwhile we also have the "Facilitators" (basically drill sergeants who's only goal is to get you to ring out) they are "encouraging" us to hurry up.

So we finally get into our new group and o yeah, I know only two out of the eleven other people, this is going to be fun. We are given some time to get the other peoples "names" (numbers) memorized, during this time two of our group pulled out pads of paper and pens and started writing down our numbers and started stating odd things like "well, why don't we share our weaknesses so we can keep each other accountable" and they really wanted to know...I found this odd but I shoved it aside and we never had the chance to answer odd questions like that anyway, we picked a president and then we had to line up again....this is the time Mr. Hasz introduces the "rest" of the facilitators ..yeah yeah, the two people with the pads of paper left formation, pulled of there shirts to show the black "ESOAL" facilitator shirts, that was not fun...it started us o wonder who else could be a "spy" ..o, the one thing I noticed is my CA was a spy, after telling us he'd be in there with us...amusing but I couldn't let this bother me cause we had a long way to go.

So then we did our typical morning routine stretches…a sign that we where going to be doing to running…O before this when we got into our new teams we where given a large cross to keep at the head of our team at all times, this would play a major role in my ESOAL, anyway after we stretched in a very military…very silent fashion we where given some more instructions on what to say when Mr. Hasz said “Are you ready for the next revolution?” and “Dismissed” so we where dismissed and as a group we headed down the back forty.

Now, the back forty is the 400 acres of woodland with a road leading down the middle of it…we ran as a team down the road. Now remember this is at night, its dark but there was something fishy coming from the clearing that was coming up, and when we turned the corner…my mouth just hung open, I was totally lost in the moment as I’m sure many were. Its this large clearing with what looked to be a sand hills turned into an obstacle coarse but that’s not what caught my eye, it was the massive (and I mean massive) bon fires lighting the entire area…when I turned that corner it seriously looked like we where walking into hell…I mean you think I’m joking but no, the hole set up looked like all those movies you see…it was hell. I would later start to realize that that wasn’t far from the truth.

We lined up again. At this point I was kind of scared but huh, what could they do. So we waited as team letters A through K made there way through the course and finally it was our turn. We lined up at the start line as a facilitator was telling us how much we where junk and we couldn’t do it blah blah, so we started the course. Our team did well…first there is a straight run then you hit a wall you have to climb over, then a covered trench to crawl through then a log to lift then ropes to crawl under then a ledge to climb up using a rope then we had to push a round bail of hay down a stretch then there was a long run down the hill in deep sand then there was more roped to jump over and crawl under then logs to crawl over then a bucket to fill with sand then a pit to jump in and climb out the other side then tires to run through then at the end we had to lock hands and yell L over and over. Now remember the fact that all through this course with everything we did there was a facilitator telling us how bad we where doing or pretty well just putting us down in anyway they could. But all that aside it was fun the first time. then we waited at attention, not talking not even moving…facilitators coming every once and a while to get under our skin, then we did it again then we stood at attention again….and waited. The odd time doing some pushups cause a teammate didn’t know one of our numbers. Then we did the course again…it was starting to get hard. After this we had to keep our hands extended over our heads for long periods of time….as we stood at attention, not talking, not moving…now I’m not sure how many times we did the course that night.. maybe just the three but all I do remember is, it lost its fun very fast and I started to realize that this wasn’t some field trip…this wasn’t a game, they where here to break us down…they where here with only one purpose….

To make us ring out…

The bell, I forgot to point out the most important part of ESOAL…the bell. It was the thing that went with us where ever we went, it was the one thing we all dreaded like the plague…when we heard it ring, some broke into tears…some just shivered but mostly it caused us to flinch at its sound. The bell was freedom, at the price of leaving your team behind…leaving everything and giving up. Finishing ESOAL without completing ESOAL.

Now, after we where done with the course we headed back to the football field, at this point we have no idea what time it is…there are no clocks, no watches nothing so yeah…anyway we lined up at attention with sleeping bags with us ready to get some shut eye. Yeah.

Now, during this whole thing we have been hearing this one thing through the loud speakers, the “Survivor” theme…all like 45 seconds of it…over and over and over again, this continued even now. So after some more instruction and a few other little things I can’t remember we are ordered to lay down and sleep. No moving, no noise and most of all…no open eyes. Well, ever thirty seconds or so we here “Open eyes!!” and we all get up and do pushups then get back down and try to sleep again, this happened like 5 or 6 times, the whole time the darn survivor music is playing, louder and louder…over and over. Then after the last time doing pushups we are told to pick the strongest person in our team…thank goodness it wasn’t me. We lost one team member that night, he passed out during “happy hour” see when we chose our strongest member we thought all he would have to do is stay up and stand over our cross all night…yeah harsh but easy enough…no no no, they where taken to something called “Happy Hour” basically intense physical workout, like extreme stuff. I was talking to our teammate we lost to this after ESOAL and he’s a big guy, when they told him he had to ring out because he passed out he couldn’t do it…he didn’t want to leave us…then he had to came back and get his stuff, he couldn’t even tell us he was leaving. He stayed up that night crying and praying for us, wishing he could be in with us.

Now, let me hold this a little bit, your going to hear of a lot of people, men and women alike crying. If you get into your mind these people are pansies and weak in any way I’m telling you your wrong, this whole event is designed to break you emotionally and really…until your in the moment where you have to walk away from the team you’ve created these amazingly close bonds with (because your going through hell together) and ring that bell…wow…well, just let me continue

We also had a lady volunteer as our 2nd strongest at the same time we chose our strongest, she also had to go through a “Happy Hour” but according to her testimony of it, the 2nd group didn’t get it nearly as hard.

So, I’m sleeping very lightly, not really knowing what to expect…and a few hours later (maybe 4…could have been more or less) there is a loud noise and Mr. Hasz is on the loud speakers getting us up, as are the facilitators going around making sure people are up quick.

Thus markes the beginning of the first morning...To Be Continued...

- posted by Kai @ 10/11/2003 06:13:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
Working on a long post, hang with me on this one cause its a story that desurves the time I'm putting into it, for those of you why are confused about what ESOAL really is just hold on tight case thats what its going to be about.

I just wanted to post something that means alot to me and I'm sure not even many Canadians know...there are more words to our national anthem then people think so here's the whole thing.

O Canada! Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Lord of the Lands
Beneath thy bending skies.
On field and flood
Where'er our banner flies,
Thy people lift their hearts to thee
Their grateful voices raise,
May our dominion ever be
A temple to thy praise.
Thy will alone, let all enthrone
Lord of the Lands, make Canada thine own.
Lord of the Lands, make Canada thine own.
- posted by Kai @ 10/08/2003 06:52:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
ESOAL
TEAM: L
NAME: 255
END TIME: aprox. 7:15PM Sat.

It was hard...I hurd people tell me how hard it was but I didn't know....I didn't know how much they ment by hard. God stretched me, and I was broken...not by the intence phisical aspect, not by the facilitators constantly dragging me and my team down...not by any of that. Yes ESOAL was hard, the hardest thing I have ever done...but the hardest part was leaving ESOAL, telling my team I wouldn't be there for them until the end, passing on the cross, walking up to Mr. Hasz, telling him I was done my ESOAL....ringing the bell knowing my team was still in it, pushing through.

God had something for me during ESOAL, and it was the breaking of my pride...yeah, I could have finished it, I could have gone the entire way I know that but that wasn't the point. The point was to break myself..to walk up in front off everyone and ring the bell and walk away by myself...to lay myself down and not finish.

This is a hard lession to learn, that why ESOAL is so hard...you have no idea what I mean by hard until you go through your own ESOAL but honestly...if i wasn't for team L being so close, we being so unifed as one body to push through I wouldn't have made it that far. If it wasn't for God I would have given up the first night.

Now just after I watch ones that went all the way...just over 100 out of probably a good 500 interns, I'm so proud of them...for pushing through and making it all the way, as I am proud of those who rang the bell knowing that there ESOAL was done and having no regrets.

You guys rock. I love you all. Team L I hold you all very close to my heart, we pushed through guys. Our ESOAL is over thank the Lord.

Grace and Peace to you all this day.
,255
- posted by Kai @ 10/05/2003 02:03:00 p.m. (0) comments

 
Well, this is it..I've started the new blog...not gonna leave the addy of this one to too many people, this is just for myself and close friends so yeah..I'm gonna get deep here...I hope that won't scare ya cause if your reading this that means your one of the closest people in my l ife and I want to share my life with you...cause there is so much I wanna go off on sometimes but don't feel that I want to let the whole world know ya know? so first off if you have been given the addy to this please...keep it to yourself cause really...this is my special place to share with only my best of best friends, the people in my life I know will always be there for me. Well, better go work on it some more..peace out.
- posted by Kai @ 10/01/2003 07:24:00 p.m. (0) comments