Remember that night?
I remember it like it was yesterday, that warm summer night in east Texas. That night changed something in me, I was afraid at first, I had been denying this very feeling so much that I had forgotten what it was. But, well...let me tell you a story.

For almost a week I had been removed from my regular routein in the kitchen. The campus cafiteria kitchen had been my ministry placment all year long and slowly but surly that year was winding down and I was now looking forward to two weeks in Mexico where myself and many others would go share the gospel in streets and churches and parks.

The past week however I had spent preparing for the trip. Many teachings as well as hot days and long nights learning the drama we would perform on the streets of Mexico consumed the week and slowly my life was flipped upside down, which had almost become the norm during my time in Texas. It paid off though, we learned our parts and knew what we had to do and understood why we where going and soon the night came of our last teaching before the mourning when we would lod into our busses and head south of the border.

Ron Luce spoke that night, as was the usual he was full of life and vigure. He had always spoke in such a way that would spark a fire in your soul and make you want to go and and just do something. This night was no different, he spoke of an army of God spreading out into the world. It was an exciting thought indeed. And soon his words came to an end and worship began again. O how wonderful a moment that was, you could surly feel the Lord in that place. Then as the lights remained dimmed and the music played softly, one my one the groups started to exit the building.

Now by this time it was clrarly dark outside, but as I approched the exit, something I had expected due to being an intern here for many months now occured. I walked out to see the walkway lined in lit torches, as well as a very large white cross in the middle of the grassy area. Our group moved a ways from the cross twords what we interns have come to call the "Prayer" tree due to the fact that the tree was a commen place to gather and pray, and our leaders began to once again speak into our lives.

My mind however was very far away in that moment however, I just kept looking at the large cross and thinking about all it ment...then sudden;y the cross lit up beautifly bright and I just fell to my knees and praised God for this chance. I was going to be used by God these next few weeks...it was going to be so amazing. I cryed and screemed to God in an almost violent plea for his arms to wrap around me. And then something I never expected in my life happened, I looked over and saw a good friend of mine drawing closer to me.

This lady I had worked with in the kitchen for many months now and she was also in my sister core. This being as such we had good oppertunity to become very good friends. Now, before I go any further, and without going into great detail of the standards and rules of the Honor Academy where I had been an Intern, I will just say this, it was nothing more then perhaps a minor deveation from HA standards to have her there in that moment...and to this day I can't quite recall why it shocked me so much too see her there, but all I can tell you is in that moment my heart scipped a beat.

Now, scipping the minor heart attack that should have taken place if such a thing really did occur, she came close and without a word she put a hand on my sholder and began to pray for me, for the trip and for all those salvations in the next two weeks. I really didn't know what to say...my emotions where in a pinch and I couldn't really think. I do remember one thought that passed though my mind was "why would she come and pray for me?" I mean true we where friends but why out of all the people going would she pray with me?

"What are sisters for?"

She then departed quietly while I headed back to my hut. During my walk I had many thoughts runing though my head. "Does she like me? She can't, its not aloud! Heck she's my sister...ewww..." that kinda thing. Now, you do have to understand that as an intern, interpersonal relationships of a romantic nature where not aloud. For that year there was no dating or anything of the sort...so you can imagine during that year you kinda train yourself to ignore sirtain signs and quicly cast away any feeling for another person before it "got you into troble" what also helped was the aspect of a "sister core" these where the women on campus that where kinda like your sisters away from home. You really started to think of them as long lost sisters and would usualy hang out and do all the silly bro sis type things (like taking pictures of lawns and writing thankyou notes for the lawn...or road trips to huston) just random fun stuff...so you can kinda understand the wierd sudden thought of "does she like me"...or maybe you can't.

In any case I got to my hut to see my Asistant Core Advisor Mr. Denver Root was waiting for me there to do a quick sendoff prayer. I then told him of the happenings prior and he mostly just told me that we'll see what happened in two weeks, time apart would be good. Amusing, just shortly before that I was his ACA and I was giving him advice on things...lol

Now to be honest, there had been a few "what-if" thoughts about Leigh-Anne and myself, then quickly cast off as silly fantasy. Really I was just pushing my feeling aside. But in that moment everything kinda changed...and the efforts to guard her heart doubled.

Then, about a month after that we finally graduated, I remember it now, my first full frontal hug in a year was with another sister of mine Rachelle, and then I side-hugged Leigh-Anne to her dismay I think :P then I leaned down a tad and hugged her close. I met more of her family that day, I love them so much...they kinda took me in as there own whle others hung out with their family.

And I remember sitting in the caf, still in my uniform...starting to feel very odd about this whole graduation thing when Leigh-Anne came in. I could tell she didn't want to leave, there was just something about her that made it clear she wasn't ready to go. My heart skipped a beat again and again I bypassed another minor heart attack but, as my training insisted I held back my feelings all that day...even after I didn't have to anymore.

Now, this story isn't what started it all, God does amazing things...He walked her into my life at the commitment banquette. She didn't have a last name then...she was just Leigh-Anne. She was the only one really special that night...the one without the last name, confusing enough to point out that that was, partly my falt. God does amusing things sometimes...

Anyway its way past my bedtime.

All I really wanted to say in this post is that I wanted to talk to Leigh tonight but she's at ATF so :P

Peace out peeps, much love.

- posted by Kai @ 2/04/2005 08:06:00 p.m.