Reflections of the lost little boy
looks like I am the first one up today, truth be told I love these times by myself...alone just me and my thoughts. Just me and God. The past two weeks have been the best few weeks in my life...I fear the 18th, but I hide that away cause I know she does too. Why should one fear what has to be? As humans we fear death but its a natural occerance, we cannot deny it nor can we run from it. We humans also fear change, it seems written into us to fear what is different, mostly because we are a people of routene.

I never want this to end...the time I have been spending here with my best friend...and I guess the best thing to do is live it out one day at a time and not think about the day when I have to watch her leave to get on that plane and head home.

Leigh-Anne, I don't really care where we end up or how we get there...as long as God leads our every step and with him there is peace. 3 years is a long time. But we've gotten pretty good at waiting haven't we? lol

So, what have I been up too?

I spent the whole week leading up to and including Christmas at my folks place, good times. I miss them all so much sometimes. I'm enjoying this new found peace between myself and my father that was mostly unexpected and...really nice. I think one of the biggest things that the HA taught me was that maybe...just maybe everything wasn't everyone elses falt and maybe the reason my father and I never really got along was because I never really aloud it to happen. I was deturmined to fail.

My mother and I of course beat eachother up (correction I beat her up :P) and much fun was had..though her working out is noticable...now I almost have to try lol (pokes fun at mom's fake plastic muscles) mom is a hoot and dad still has no sence of humor (its funny I think when dad is beating me up in the living room and mom says something we laugh it off...then when mom and I are beating up eachother in the kitchen well, wait....we laugh it off as well lol. Does anyone listen to anyone in that house anymore? :P Mom, you rock but your gonna have to work our more to take me on wahaha! And old man, I'm comming for you..

it must be odd being my kid sista...all alone, the last of the tribal kids to have yet to make there way out into the wide world. Alone with the tribal parents...GET OUT KID BEFORE THEY GET HUNGRY!! Um..I mean you rock Kid.

And yes, as Leigh-Anne knows now.

I treat all my sisters as I do my real sister back home.

Wahaha

speaking of sisters I had the awesome chance to talk with a few of dem the other day (while I was about to pass out from being over tired lol) that was nice. I like it when people can call me (wink*) its fun.

So, my dream last night was odd...and as usual I don't remember most of it...but what I do remember is, interesting.

Most of my dreams the past month or so have related to the HA somehow...this time around I was on a bikeride though the country...trying to get somewhere (I forget where) when I came across a while junkload or people biking in a pack...I tryed to make it through the pack as they where going much slower then I liked and I saw Brent. caught me off guard. It was great to see him again and I asked him what (the heck) he was doing in Canada and well, thats when I woke up :P

boo

ah well, life is so good now, waken up ain't so bad :D I'm liven my dream.

Remember commitment?
I guess its a sign of character...

to me? Its a way of life...wouldn't you agree?

Remember the commitment banquet?
How could I forget?

Its kinda funny if you think about it that...
the day I met Leigh-Anne
would be the day I promise to hold everything back...
to wait the year.

Commitment, isn't it amusing to meet your one true love.
Just before you make a life changing commitment?

and then...4 years after they make that commitment to themselves....they make another one...

to eachother?

the circle of life my friends. The circle of life.

I remember something else I did a while ago...
at something called the "Ring Banquet"

Commited to...a life of Honour
Semper Honorablus

I remember the Line...all those who have come before...and those that come after. The dreamers...world changers. The Trailer men (whether or not they take the class or not means nothing...being a true Trailer man is in the heart not in some curriculum) and the Alpha Women (ditto)

Men: Take a moment to reflect. Who do you look up to now. Who are the Trailer Men in your life the ones that help you along. Never think of Trailer Club as just some class from the HA...its a name given to the men who, unlike the rest of the world...choose not with there mind but

with there hearts

to...live the differance, to live remembering the very essence of what "honour" really is. We are the protectors, the armor bearors the warriors.

We, are the tested...the worn. We are...the victourious.

We are the Men in the Kingdom of Heaven...sworn to defend this world against the contunuious onslaught of evil against this world...

does it sound like some comic book dream?
Every dream has a place in reality...and not every reality can be seen with the naked eye...but those whose eye of the spirit is opened can see the truth.

Trailer Men, take it from me...
find an Alpha women...a women that holds close to her heart the Word
a women who is strong that will walk the path with you.

No matter how hard it may be.

find that one that God Himself walks into your life.

and always remember.
What one man can do,
another man can do.

much love.

P.S. I just thought I would add this to my loves post...God has placed he and I together for a BIG purpose. God knows the time apart will be hard, but with His comfort and love for us both we will get through the seconds, minutes, hours, days, months...maybe even years ( pray I would see him more often then that ;) ) He means alot to me...I feel everyone knows that already. :)

I also fear the 18th...and my prince, you seem so strong...you sit beside me when I cry of fear...you tell me to have faith and my heart is calm...I praise the Lord for you and your willingness to do what is right...your willingness not the place anything in your own hands, but in the hands of our Father. You amaze me...You stand strong even when it hurts you the most. I will be there for you...holding you close to my heart and praying for you as well. I look forward to our life together *wink*. The wait is long, but it is will be worth every second. Trust me...The Lord has great plans for us in the years to come. I wait for you, my prince!!!

Much Love, Leigh-Anne

- posted by Kai @ 1/03/2005 08:19:00 a.m.