Sin
sin...evil ugly deadly sin...

Pride has been called the uglyest of all sin, Lucifer was cast down to the earth because of his pride...he thought he was better then God, the one who created him...pride, death stems from pride...from sin and the more I dig deep down into the root of all I do and all I am all I can see is the root of evil and sin...I so hard try to take the weeds with my own hands instead of letting God take it...attacking sin with sin...trying so hard to deal with my own problems...with my own mistakes...trying so hard to defeat my sin with my pride, to take the gift that Jesus has given me and pay for it myself...to pay for my sins onto of the price..the ultimate price Jesus paid...I have been so foolish...

but there is victory...

there is always victory...its just a matter of how long it takes you to get beyond your retardedness and see your sin for what it is and drop to your knees and cry out O FATHER WHAT HAVE I DONE?! To hand it ALL over to him and repent...not just a simple little meaningless "I repent of my sins" but a real turning away from your sins...thats what it is thats what repentence is...is the turning away is it not?

The reson I bring this up...I have been very prideful...arrogent twords people, I'm trying so hard to get people to live properly when I can't even do it right...

I sinned against many people in my life, Cheska, Lexi, Rob just to name a few...guys I'm sorry and all I can do is ask for your forgivness...Jesus THE SON OF GOD didn't go around rebuking and acting rashly...he acted out of a love never seen before on this earth...he fed thousands...some even say tens of thousands late one night after a long run of ministry beforehand...after his followers..his close friends just wanted to go to stinken bed all because his heart was burdend for them...its time to re-evaluate what I'm doing and why I'm doing it...am I living in compassion and love...or do I just want to see people "smarten up"? have I let my passion lead to pride and sin? yes. I'm forgiven only by the grace and mercies of an awe inspiring amazing loving awesome God...the thought of Him...wow...

the burden is heavy, as the cross was...you know, I heard a quote that will stick with me for a long time...

When we're on the throne Jesus is on the cross, when we're on the cross Jesus is on the throne...

its time to truly die to my flesh...
to take up my cross...
I love you guys, I'm sorry if I have hurt you...
- posted by Kai @ 5/28/2004 04:59:00 p.m.