The Judged
...But then...than there's Chris.
I wonder about that boy sometimes. I worry that he is becoming a zealot. I worry that he is going to be someone that I can't stand to be around. I worry that he is going to decide that everyone he knew in high school was evil and sinful and want to stay in his Christian, isolationist paradise until Doomsday, never to come out. I worry that I've lost a good friend. I just saw that he has removed all links to my blog (here) from his blog, and has not responded to any online conversations I've tried to have with him.
Unfortunately, there is nothing that I can do, but say here and now that I still want to be his friend. All I can do is extend my hand to him and hope that he responds...

I want to respond but what is there left too say? Again, people believe what they want and won't back down fro their thoughts of me...I'm Christian people, live with it or get away from me I guess is what I have too say. I'm sick of people taking everything I say and just turning it around...Yeah, I'm living by the Bible OUUU!!! O no, I'm a bad person now...frig...How has this been turned around to make me out to be the bad guy?

yeah I'll hang out with my friends back home, I'm not going to drop people but at the same time, I'm not going to let certain people drag me down any longer...If you want to be my friend and your a Christian you better darn well be living the standard as posted in my last post (I suggest any who haven't read my last post please do) because Jesus said to not even sit down and eat with those that are backsliding. I have a passion for Christ, if you have a problem with that I seriously advise you too look at your own Christianity...I'm not perfect, heck I'm not even close...I'm no where near where I want to be..But everyday I push forward..Never too become stationary in my walk with Christ.

but lets not let this become a rant of the proportions of last night...

Rob, first of all I never had a link to your blog on here because you never update it...or bearly ever at any rate..I know you have your reasons and thats cool...but why link too it, plus most of the links on there are for my use and I link too your site from Bev's...as you'll notice Chuck's blog isn't on here eather for the same reasons and Chuck and I are still amazing friends.

Second, I have yet too see a message from you appear on my screen, I'm not ignoring you...I just do see you online ever and I guess I'm not reciving the messages you send, which I have heard the same complant from others and I'm trying to figure out the reason for this.

Third and most important...you have never been on my side since I came here...sure you tried to be "my friend" all though this but you have been nothing but negitive too everything I'm doing and quite frankly you've judged me, and you have judged this place wrongly. The Honor Academy doesn't try to suck people in for good, in fact they push people too leave after the first year and start the furtherance of their education and their lives, but for the select few that feel called too stay thay go through a very detailed selection process called a "road" mine having three "cuts"...so its not like they are "sucking people in never to escape" or any of that junk...ug, why can't people get their mindset away from the fact that this is a calt...thats ignorance and pre-judgment that I will not tolorate from a so-called friend straight up. Look man, I'm just being real here. And the reason I'm writing this here is because there are probably a select few who feel the same as Rob here does. I have been defending this place and myself too these so-called people who want to be my "friend"...its funny, cause a true friend would see the growth in my spiritual life and be excited for me...would take the time to actually talk too me without a pre-judgment in their heart...these people like James and Bev and Chuck and many others who arn't even saved have been a friend too me and have yes expressed some concern but we talked and minds where put at ease because they see and know my heart.

Rob, dang it man I love you so much but you have been nothing but nagitive twords my entire growth here at the internship and have done nothing but judge this place and judge me without knowing my heart or really without a care for me...if you took the real time too actually come at this situation as a friend would you would see that I'm growing in my spiritual walk and I'm trying my best too live as I should, as Christ would and that means living according too Biblical standards which yeah, sometimes I slip up..duh I'm human but I puch forward and if you take that as being a "zealot"

\Zeal"ot\, n. [F. z['e]lote, L. zelotes, Gr. ?. See Zeal.] One who is zealous; one who engages warmly in any cause, and pursues his object with earnestness and ardor; especially, one who is overzealous, or carried away by his zeal; one absorbed in devotion to anything; an enthusiast; a fanatical partisan

\Zeal\ (z[=e]l), n. [F. z[`e]le; cf. Pg. & It. zelo, Sp. zelo, celo; from L. zelus, Gr. ?, probably akin to ? to boil. Cf. Yeast, Jealous.] 1. Passionate ardor in the pursuit of anything; eagerness in favor of a person or cause; ardent and active interest; engagedness; enthusiasm; fervor. ``Ambition varnished o'er with zeal.'' --Milton. ``Zeal, the blind conductor of the will.'' --Dryden. ``Zeal's never-dying fire.'' --Keble.

well okey, whatever...I'm a Zealot...whatever, I'm not going to be labled by some name...I'm going to be known as a Christian and nothing else. My devotion is too the Lord and nothing else...cause that's what being a Christian is.

\Chris"tian\, n. [L. christianus, Gr. ?; cf. AS. cristen. See Christ.] 1. One who believes, or professes or is assumed to believe, in Jesus Christ, and the truth as taught by Him; especially, one whose inward and outward life is conformed to the doctrines of Christ.

one whose inward and outward life is conformed to the doctrines of Christ....need I say more?

I'm a Christian people, if you have a problem with that well, I've come to the point where I have too say sorry, I'm not going to back down just because people can't take it...I'm pushing forward...if you want to join me in a friendship...grab ahold and just know that I'm pushing forward always.
- posted by Kai @ 3/31/2004 04:40:00 p.m.