Am I ready?
Am I ready? A question brought forth today in my rather short class. Now I sit in the silence if my own heart. Lord am I really ready? Am I ready to face the faces within the Unreached Peoples LTE? Am I really ready for Gideon’s? That’s the question…am I ready for this event I await. Lord if I’m not really ready show me now, so that when I walk into that…when I start down the road I am ready in my heart. It starts with the little things, I know this very well as it is quoted to my once an hour sometimes it seems…but its so true, it all starts with the little things…

I sometimes have no idea what I’m doing, what I’m seeking…what this is even all about. Sometimes I’m just sitting here in Texas wondering why I’m so far from home, asking myself why I did this to myself…I did this for the simple reason that my life was in the gutter spiritually, heck I didn’t even have a spiritual life at all before I came here…but now that I am here…am I really seeking God, or am I just letting the HA mold me into what they want me to be. I don’t want the HA to mold me I want God to mold me. I want to see what at God has for my life not what the HA thinks my life should look like. Yes I agree most of the things we do here are beneficial, if you have the right heart about it...and the right heart sometimes isn’t going all cheerfully into something and getting all worked up about how great it was and how much your going to get out of it…sure you might get something out of it…but is this year all for you? I grow spiritually for the simple reason that there are people in my life who I influence. I am a leader in this generation whether I like it or not and I have to step up, and step out…cause they aren’t going anywhere if I don’t lead them…if I don’t take that first step out of that box we call reality. I think our “reality” should be in the spiritual realm, and less in our physical.

Ah the things of this life, how simply complex it really is. The simplicity of the complexity of this life is so amusing I just want to laugh…because everything can be worded, put to words so easily but to life it is so much more difficult. That’s the challenge of this life. The challenge we see in the everyday when we say one thing and do another. We lie, not because we want to but because its so easy to say something and mean it with all your heart...then when that moment comes and the action is so much harder then the words it took to get you there where...you choke and stammer your way out. I think the more we start to realize that its easy to say things…but the action to coincides with the words spoke are much harder then the speaking of the words…we might speak less and act more. I think maybe I need to act these words out in my own life…though maybe the action based off these words is harder then I think…

- posted by Kai @ 3/15/2004 08:09:00 a.m.