, well Katgoyles be warnd, it has spilt into the emails now...

anywho, I'm home now :) back on the ol beast I love to call my own. in my own room just taking it all in. Its odd to say the least, like everything is just as I left it..everything is the same..yet there is a new aspect, something is not quite the same....and the more I look into it I realize its me. I'm just off the spectrem of the rest of the world, I feel as if I'm just looking at everything from afar, not really apart of the world, just a spectator seeing the many areas that I ran to for comfort or entertanment now with a sick sence in the pit of my soul. I look to my bed and though is casts memorys...those memorys only make me want to get closer to got because I never want to fall into the sin that took place in that very spot ever again. I look to all the many things in my life that where left behind when I went to Texas with a new eye.

Now I see who I am in here amongst the world, truly we are the consicrated. The set aside, and as I sit back and watch the world around me lies are whispered into my ear but I turn away, and as I reach into this world now I try so hard to be that light...to be the example of Honor that I have been tought how to be, and no my year is not up and I still have much to learn...and learning doesn't end after the year is over but as I sit and look around at this, my old life...I look once again to the plan that God has for this life...all the wonderful things he has done and all the wonderful things he will do with this, what used to be such a broken life. Its going to be harder then I thought...much much harder then I ever dreamed but God gives the strangth to overcome everything. I just have to take what He gives and use it.

I'm home, for these next two weeks I am home, and indeed home is where the heart is...my heart cries out for this place right here, these people...this spot, this country that needs more then just the fakeness that is the enimy's lie of non-dependence in God, for we have nothing and are nothing without our Creator who made us everything we are.
- posted by Kai @ 12/15/2003 10:04:00 p.m.