"ok so i was reading ashbies blog and he was talking about love and all that about how its a choice more then an emotion and stuff..."

You have no idea how happy it makes me when something I write sparks conversation or just thought :) o, and Kenz...my name is spelt "Ashby" :P I'll forgive you this time (just like all the many other times :P)

today I wanted to get back into a convo about feelings back home (yeah, seems that the ESOAL and Vision LTE posts are now writups I'll have to finish and hand in at the end of the year so they'll be done by the end of december) just looking at the tag board, and talking to friends back home...I think I've got feelings pretty well figured out, some good some bad but one person who I never get to talk to that kinda scares me is Rob. Its probably just me but it just seems like he's really been hardend twords me...maybe he doesn't see it but everytime he posts in the tag board I feel as if he's...not really attacking me...I don't even know the word to discribe the feeling I get from them. I hope I get the chance to talk to him in person while I'm home cause I think as much as this situation should be in the healing stage...there is still alot of pain in the hearts of those who where close to Lex and myself. I think the hardest thing Rob has tryed to do and I commend him for it is trying hard to continue to befriend both Lex and myself. Rob is a strong man but how does one handle two of his best friends comming to such an impass...how does he deal with one of those friends changing so drasticly that he doesn't know him anymore. I honestly don't know how I would deal with that situation but one thing is for sure, the hardness that I'm sencing from him is surly from that situation.

I think a few people have made the HA out to be some kind of cult, something thats taking over my life and sucking me in...controling my life. I've stated from day one this is a year to be with the Lord. To Concicrate myself, set myself apart from the world and totaly embrace what God has for me and indeed thats what is going on here. The HA sets up an environment that allows us to study, pray, learn, everything there is of the Lord...to give our lives to Him as we where supposed to do when we where saved. To learn how to be leaders in this generation. This is Christianity back to its basics. Not some place called the Honor Academy, this can be done anywhere, but this place helps guide our walk back on track and keep us on the solid foundation of God's Word. Is the HA taking over my life? No, God is. I have always told people I wanted to be a youth pastor. How am I supposed to be that leader in the Church if God isn't the center of everything I do? And to be honest, if that makes people uncomfterble then good. I'm sick of feel good Christianity that sacrifices the truth and re-writes God's own laws and Words to make everyone feel better. Look at Peter, he was a man of God who wasn't afraid of offending people if the need arose. The fact of life is Christianity has been so surger-coated that we don't even know what it is to have a relationship with God anymore. We're all so afraid that it's no longer Legal to adress homosexuality in the church. Heck, we can bearly use the word sin anymore, its just "problems" "I'm struggling with this 'problem' in my life" no, your knee deep in sin and you need prayer let me pray for you! If I sound a little angry its because I am. We live in an age that Christians are afraid to pull out there bibles in a public place cause it might "offend" someone. We're afread of speaking the name of Christ because someone might not share the same values as us. Here's the truth. Christianity is the only real truth. If you live in fear of offending others then you miss out on the oppertunity to SAVE THEM FROM HELL! Why do we continue to live in muticultualism? Why as Christians do we just toss our hands in the air and give in to the ideals of "whats truth for you is true, whats true for me is true." The Bible teaches one absolute truth and yet even amongst us Christians we can't even bring ourselves to admit that Jesus is the Word, that God is real and that what He has spoken is the truth and the only truth. Let me tell you something, Jesus wasn't out to keep everyone happy, he wasn't out to spread a cheerful message thats happy-go-lucky and that everyone will want to hear. No, Jesus was out to spread the truth.

Its funny how the world works. Isn't it? What hurts me the most is the thought that, as we fall deeper into this...those who are unsaved are dieing, people are going to hell for every min that we sit hear afraid to go out and spread the word. People are going to hell because we are to afraid of rocking somebodys false beliefs. People are going to hell because God has called us into a ministry we are to afraid to stand up for. Its so easy for us as Christians to look at ourselves and praise the Lord that we're going to heaven. But my heart breaks when I see those who don't have that spot. I would gladly give up my spot in heaven for someone else to meet up with God in heaven. Its love thats going to change this nation. Luke 10:27 says pretty clear the two most emoportant things in which all things in goodness are sprouted from. Loving God and loving others. Do we love those unsaved enough to cast out our fear and take a risk? 1 John 4:18 "There in no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."

So, ok...closing time lol, its in love for those who don't know Christ that this anger has built up inside, and you can bet I'm gonna use this flame to mold how I live. No fear. :) peace out.
- posted by Kai @ 11/25/2003 09:12:00 a.m.