I feel so cut off, just I dunno, today I just wanna be home with peoples at home ya know? Well, its ok, gonna talk to my CA bout it at dinner tonight just kinda wanna let loose here before then :P just today has been so blah, for everyone it seems...probably the weather but something tells me its more then just that but I can't place my finger on it....is it somehting spirtual? Maybe, good possability...sometimes its so hard to tell, and often its those times we get hit hard by the enemy, when we're unsure. I still after all this time find it so hard to lift things up in prayer, its a wall I put up so long ago that I'm still chipping at when I should be taking a bomb to it...hehehe, yeah as you may be able to tell its a cool dull fall day, the sun hasn't been seen for a few days and I think thats the part thats getting to me cause dullness after a while brings ya down for sure.

You know, as hard as I try sometimes to put everything in the past, I find myself somedays just looking back...heading over to Lexi's blog to see if she's mentioned me, that kinda thing...even with all I have learned about friendships...relationships I still find myself wondering what if. Praise the LORD though, cause I know very well what would have happened...and people can say what they want but when a relationship gets phisical like days after we meet in person...ITS NOT GOING TO GO WELL! What happends when the warm fuzzys die off as they always do and love becomes a choice not a feeling?

Ok, if you haven't heard anything I have said hear me now cause this is I think the most important thing I have learned here that most of the world doesn't get...Love is a choice!...let me explane

Love isn't an emotion, ah already I hear the screems of rejection..hear me out, the emotion of love and the choice of love are two differant things...and the true emotion and feeling of love can only come from making this choice everyday. Say you are married k? you have been married for a good 20 years or so, you think you have lasted 20 years on warm fuzzy emotions? no you last 20...30...40...even 50 years because on the days you wanna pick up and leave (and you know there will always be those days no matter who your with, don't kid yourself) its in those moments that you choose to love and push on. We in this world these days have so many relationships built on warm fuzzies, built on nothing but emotion...when in all reality you don't know eachother deeply, don't hold eachother up or anything a real relationship is all about...these relationships built on emotion end up in devorce...thats why the devorce rate is so freeking high these days....because of emotion filled relationships without any depth. And thats why we as a people have come to take sayings like "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" as ok excuses to get devorces, no...all that is saying is "I loved you but now we're past the warm fuzzies and I'm to lazy to push any harder" I mean for goodness sakes people get ahold of yourselves! I know I'm sounding a little harsh and this doesn't apply to a few of you (James and Bev...and thats about it) o, thats another thing I wanna say...I love James and Bev, as this hit me and I was thinking about all this I thought about how James and Bev are...how its not all emotion, its a deep bond created though getting to know eachother deeply, not through phisical actions but through just being there for eachother. Yes just like every other couple they have had there hard times but how I know this will work is...when they have those times they don't just walk away and try to deal with it on there own, they choose love, and work it out together in a very mature way. If people want to see what a relationship is SUPPOSED to be, go find James and Bev cause they get it! Praise the LORD they get it! I love you guys and I want to see you in deep awsome relationships...this is why I'm so passinate about this, cause I want to be at your wedding and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it'll be a bond thay will be till death do you part. Not, till the warm fuzzies fade away. Think about this in your own relationships your in, if your in one or your future relationships...how well do you know the other person? How deep are you two? How close are you not just on an emotional level...but spiritually as well. Think abuot this...how phisical are you and why do you think you are as much as you are...cause sometimes (not always) its cause you really don't know what to do...

anywho thats my tangent for the day lol...I always seem to go off on these :P ah well, peace out

Serving in Faith
,Chris
- posted by Kai @ 11/08/2003 03:01:00 p.m.